Category: strong communities

Posted on

Under Pressure

I started thinking about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs a while ago, and have been playing with variations of its theme to make it relatable to American politics and identity. With the onboarding of the Trump administration in 2025 we have begun to see attacks at every level, and I’m questioning how we can sustain ourselves through another three years when the first year is technically not even over yet. Keep in mind that DJT wasn’t inaugurated for his second term until January 20, 2025. I’m writing this on January 4, with more than two full weeks left before his first year in office is done.

The most concerning attacks are at the foundation of our hierarchy; specifically on the physiological wellbeing, and the safety of our people.

The Foundation is Under Attack

Physiological

Physiological needs are our fundamental needs for survival. If we can’t meet the basic needs of housing, shelter, food, and rest we don’t tend to focus on much else. One of the main problems we’re seeing are ramifications of a failed economy. Homes are unaffordable, and rent increases are pushing families out of markets. US Courts reports that bankruptcies have jumped 10.6 percent in the past 12 months. Food and product prices continue to go up due to inflation and tariffs passed on to consumers. We are actively in a recession, and there isn’t a positive light to shine anywhere.

Real and perceived threats are growing too. It used to be that having a safe place to rest your head at night mattered, but there is increased vitriol online and notably partisan divisions in media and news that grow a divide. Driven by fear-mongering and contempt, we are seeing attacks on the moral character of good people that lead to physical abuse and violence.

Safety

Safety is a broader term that includes health and wellbeing, stability, financial security (income and savings), and programs that provide aid, like health insurance, or the availability of medical vaccinations.

In Bankrate’s 2025 Emergency Savings Report, 32% of U.S. adults have less emergency savings now than they did at the beginning of the year, while 31% have the same amount and 18% had no savings at the start of the year and still don’t have any now. That means 8 out of 10 people in the US have not improved their emergency savings at a time when growing job losses, increased likelihood of medical issues and other problems are far more likely to happen.

In terms of health and wellbeing, Americans are far less likely to be able to afford insurance, or even have insurance now. Premiums continue to rise. Employees who lose work are likely to not able to afford insurance on their own, at the same time that state (Medicaid) and federal (Medicare) programs are removing expansion coverage and making it harder to qualify for care.

Changes in HHS and CDC policies have been detrimental to US citizens, particularly on the availability of vaccines, recommendations for preventative care, and on research and reporting of disease and outbreaks.

Rollbacks of regulatory procedures and audits are causing environmental and food-related illnesses.

From a financial perspective, the Trump administration attacks against the Federal Reserve and Department of Labor are creating problems with interest rates, labor reporting, and reports of economic growth. In the last two quarters, the Bureau of Labor Statistics is no longer generating trusted numbers that reflect our true market. Groups like the Center for American Progress and Real Economy Blog are providing summaries that reflect signs of weakness—particularly among groups that often foreshadow broader labor-market cooling, such as workers of color and older workers.

More than 300,000 federal employees lost work in 2025, and more than 1.1 million private sector jobs have been lost in the same time. Infrastructure jobs gained during the Biden administration have been erased. Tourism is down. International travel is gone. Regardless of warnings that the US economy is headed for recession, many think that the US economy is already in recession. There is a huge wealth gap divide that is growing.

from https://www.reddit.com/r/economy/comments/1pkv4pe/the_us_economy_is_in_a_recession/

Our Socio-Economic Structures are Collapsing

There is a relationship between self, family and culture, social, and societal groups that is under constant adjustment, but overall determines our view of self and others. The entire model is collapsing around us.

Our Critical Thinking

With the loss of trusted media sources it seems that we have lost the capacity to think critically and understand how to interpret media… and we only have ourselves to blame.

  • We have lost focus in a mobile-friendly, short-format publication system, where everyone is a publisher.
  • We have lost context in news that is mixed with entertain and sales. Establishments are no longer selling news, they are editorial boards and infotainment.
  • We have lost criticality and skepticism for what matters in local, national and global events.
  • We have lost reality, particularly with loss of awareness in bias and spin (see where you source your information within the Media Bias Chart), and with the introduction of AI-generated articles and deepfake imagery and videos.

We’re at a point where sarcasm can’t be used because the source has to be thoroughly investigated to know if they are truly using sarcasm, or has “jumped the shark” to present an otherwise irrational statement as conviction. News stories give equal weight to two sides when only one is rational, or true. Publishers are reticent to call out factual lies, or provide fact-checking services for their followers.

Social Media Algorithms and Addiction

It’s been clear for a long time that social media capitalizes on scroll time, and its profitability is measured by how long its audience spends in the app, and how durably it can track your actions across sites. Social media analyzes the amount of time you spend on any given media, search history, cookies, and how you react or comment in posts to determine what to populate your feed with. It isn’t based on “likes” so much as it is based on engagement. And one thing that engages is rage-baited content, rabbit-holes and trolling.

If you have questioned whether social media is healthy for you, the short answer will always be ‘no’. Be careful if you stay because the apps offer an echo-chamber that validates who you are. Watch for the number of negative engagements, whether it is you or someone else trolling. Pay attention to the total time spent in-app. Look for advertisements in your feed based on recent conversations and searches that you may have performed in or out of the app. When you are the product, you have to be extremely careful with how you interact, and how much time you spend in these apps.

The reason that its a problem: Cambridge Analytica proved that targeted influence campaigns can be run on social media to intentionally drive behaviors of social media users. Social Media companies consider you a product. They sell your time in their app, they sell your demographic data to (any and all) advertisers, who target you with curated content to sway decisions you make, whether to make a purchase, or how to vote.

The Undue Influence of AI

There is an unrelenting hype-cycle of what AI can do online, and a lot of money being spent right now on artificial intelligence and their underlying large language models to prove capability and influence investment in more AI. The problem should be obvious but apparently isn’t: AI isn’t a creative tool – it only renders likely answers and images based on what it is trained on. It steals the intellectual property of large groups, is programmed algorithmically to respond in certain ways that can be adjusted up or down (the presumption is to remove bias but it is definitely used to increase bias, avoid facts, and particularly to promote ideology and platforms). AI has no consciousness. AI has no morals. AI is not intelligent, but can utilize layers of decision making filters that give the appearance of intelligence. AI is not creative, but can utilize the same layering method to “predict” what a requestor is asking for. All of this machine learning is built on the stolen data of real people. In worse cases, the machine learning is based on unclean data, or utilizes data pools that include AI-generated content that in turn feed the language model.

As an example, Reddit began charging for large-scale API access in July 2023, and part of the justification was that companies were using data on the site to train LLMs. Two years later Reddit is filling up with AI-generated content. We have AI companies paying Reddit to train their LLMs on AI-generated content, that will influence the results of AI-generated content we see on Reddit, that in cycle train new LLMs. We are at the cusp of an AI circle-jerk of the magnitude which we have not seen.

From https://www.reddit.com/r/antiai/comments/1q421qz/this_is_so_ironic/#lightbox

The Survival of Self

There is rapid societal change in that technology is becoming a primary source of news and interaction. Our US government is structurally degraded and moving further into a state of collapse. Our media sources are becoming more consolidated and biased. Our educational institutions are being attacked. Our economy is falling apart. Job loss, the overall mental and medical health of US citizens is worse, and the disparity of wealth is overwhelming.

As a person living in 2026, where are you now in all of this? How are you meaningfully engaged to your family, to your local community, and to the nation-at-large? If you are the heads-down, jesus-take-the-wheel, job-hugging sort… that may be your coping mechanism to get through all of this. But for the rest of America, we’re in a hole that’s growing deeper, and it won’t be long before the bottom falls out.

If you’re with me, know that we’re all feeling the pressure.

Still there? I recommend that you subscribe to Heather Cox Richardson on YouTube, and particularly listen to Today’s News, January 3, 2025 (starting at 28:18 of 32:33 mins) on why the United States has 2-3 months before democracy collapses.

tl;dr – Speak up. It’s going to get worse before it gets better.

Posted on

A 2026 To-Do List

I think the most prescient topics to address in 2026 all deal with digging ourselves out of the mire of the first year of a Trump administration, defending ourselves from another 3 years, and ensuring that our political processes are intact for a fair 2028 federal election cycle.

There is a quote: “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice” – by 19th century abolitionist and Unitarian minister Theodore Parker. I’m not the religious sort but I pray this is true, because I’m concerned that it isn’t.

The Trump Administration

There are just so many bad things here, and it’s not just a Trump sighting in the Whitehouse. The long game of the conservative right is in view, and they act like there is nothing we can do about. 2026 must be our reckoning through mid-term elections. 2028 is far enough away that it will not matter if we do not win seats this year.

The absolute ugliness of 2025 is remarkable. Internally we are divided. What made America great – our diversity, our people, our freedom – is dead. Externally our (then) friends are our (now) enemies, and our (then) enemies puppet our leader by taking advantage of his hubris.

We have some of the most inept, deceitful and profiteering people at the helm of critical government structures, and we’re watching them tear apart those institutions. We literally have Trump tearing down the Whitehouse while he tears down our economy, while he tears down our people, while he sends AI videos of himself pouring shit on US citizens.

There are WAY TOO MANY egregious violations by this administration but we can start by naming a few things:

  • Health and Human Services, Medicare and Medicaid
  • Education programs and funding
  • Immigration policy
  • US AID
  • Labor, Equal Opportunity
  • FCC, Public Media funding, and license allocations
  • EPA
  • National Park Service, BLM
  • Federal Reserve, Dept of Treasury

I haven’t even mentioned the US as a good neighbor, or the US as a representative of global democracy. The ability of the Trump administration to turn the US on its heel to become an antagonist in global government is profound and of long-lasting negative consequence.

We are no longer a nation that can be trusted. Trump doesn’t care. His cohort are all thugs and monsters and sycophants. Americans need to be sick of his shit and shamed that it got this far.

The Impact of AI to Intellectual Identity, Environment, and Economy

The emergent threat of artificial intelligence cannot be overstated.

There is an AI-hype bubble designed to siphon money, land, water, power, and data (all things we should be incredibly reticent to give away), with the express intent of stealing intellectual property, surveilling citizens, and controlling narratives. AI has a unique capacity to algorithmically produce bias at scale. There are no regulations governing AI in the US, and even though the European Union has produced its EU AI Act: first regulation on artificial intelligence it does nothing to control what takes place in technology to the west of the Atlantic.

AI is being used to build rhetoric, create dissension through rage and misinformation, spew AI-generated deepfakes, and most importantly keep you engaged. AI is the “Soma” that Aldous Huxley describes in Brave New World; a drug to escape reality, ensure constant happiness (or constant rage), a means of self-validation, and effectively act as a tool for social control.

Regulations for Block-Chain and Crypto

Crypto is highly susceptible to fraud and abuse, and it’s appropriate to protect consumers with financial regulation in digital currency and digital payment platforms like Venmo, Paypal and Stripe. Entities that offer accounts with financial balances, linked institutions, transfer capability, debit or credit card type instruments or allow any form of account management in fiat OR cryptocurrency platforms should be regulated and insured in the same way that banks and credit unions are currently insured. Because crypto value is purely speculative, create floors and limits that will protect investors from

Controlling Rabid Reaganomics

Trickle-down economics is a fantasy, and one that built on the lie that deregulation and lower taxes for the wealthy would result in investment and economic growth. Reality shows that the wealthy simply consolidate their wealth and move to control the levers of power (policy, media, and monopolization).

The odd thing we keep hearing is how government would be more effective if it were run like a business; but the purpose of government is to better the lives of its citizens while the purpose of business is to seek profits for its owners. These entities are diametrically opposite of one another, and there is no business model that would administer both. You can be fiscally responsible and a humanitarian, or you can run a business. It’s an either/or situation.

In short, there is no philanthropy in capitalism.

Re-Balancing Ethics and Power

There is a willful disregard by elected officials to not fend our republic from oligarchy. Holding officials accountable to their actions, enforcing or calling-to-reign the authorities of the executive, legislative, and judicial branches, and supporting the independent authority of organizations empowered with investigative, health and regulatory commissions is a minimum requirement of any office holder. We are sorely lacking in both backbone and integrity for this to happen, and the obvious response should be to vote them out. We need candidates who will compete in races, that will stand up for what it right (not what is convenient, or what is profitable to them personally) and represent the Constitution of the United States they took an oath to defend. That document is going on 239 years in the making – here’s the reminder that “freedom isn’t free”.

The sheer grift in politics has to be curbed at the same time.

  • This means ending Citizens United. End corporate money. End dark money. End PACs and PICs without traceable sources. Impose sever limits on corporate lobbyists.
  • This means governance and rules on financial instruments that currently have no regulation (and I’m primarily speaking of crypto, but includes membership in distributed autonomous organizations (DAO) that use block-chain to obfuscate its members).
  • This means ending trading and investments of elected officials, their families and entities during a candidacy, tenure and following exit from public office.
  • This means full divestiture of any conflicts of interest, whether noted or “found”.
  • This means imposed limits on any form of gift or exchange to a public official or their family members
  • and this means the authority to prosecute and convict individuals who are found in violation of any of these breaches of policy.

Campaign financing needs reform as well.

Cap campaign spending. Limit sources of contributions, and establish standard limits for campaign contributions. Allocate a public square to level the playing field for candidates within a campaign. Stop commercial ads on television, radio, streaming media, and social platforms.

Tax, Tax, Tax the Rich

We’re watching the ultra-wealthy influence our administration through bribes and flattery to gain controls in data, media, and investments.

Implement a flat tax for the ultra wealthy, simple as that. Instead of using their money for influence peddling, let them pay taxes.

Defend, Defend, Defend Voter Representation and Rights

There are fraudulent schemes across states and nationally to strip voter rights away through gerrymandering, constitutional changes at the state level, willful misinformation by conservative parties, and by sowing distrust in reliable voting systems, including vote-by-mail and the voter ID system. One of the greatest threats to our system is allowing one party to usurp the power of voters by articulating the boundaries of voter pools and strip voters of their constitutional rights to vote for their elected officials. We need to fight like hell to make sure that our inherent citizen rights are not lost to a group that would otherwise manipulate and control its constituency for its own advantage.

Posted on

Caregiving and Mental Illness

On December 31, 2025 NPR published an article under its “What it Takes” series at His brother’s mental illness isolated his family. Now he’s helping other caregivers. My family is part of the story. We were picked up after answering a survey on caregiving that NPR posted a little over a year ago to “tell us your story: How did caregiving change you? How do you cope with the hard parts? What have you learned that you’d like to share with others?”

My Advice from the NPR Survey

What lessons have you learned that you want to share with other caregivers?

  • Take care of you. It’s easy to be overwhelmed, frustrated, ashamed, sad, or angry. It’s also easy to let your physical and mental health slip. Look for spaces where you can give yourself priority. Incorporate activity in your day, and find things you love. If you have depression, talk about it.
  • Seek out your tribe. Find and surround yourself with people who understand the diagnoses you are caring for. The ability to talk with others who not only understand, but can empathize and respond meaningfully matters.
  • Find local resources (Parent Center, Disability Law, Legislative Advocacy Groups, Charitable Support Groups) to be involved with. They will help you with valuable advice, direction and resources when you need them.
  • Plan far ahead for what your person may need. Medicaid qualification, Dependent Services, Social Security benefits, Guardianship, Housing, Estate Planning all requires extensive documentation and may have extensive wait periods.
  • It’s critical to allow your person to self-determine, but know that you are also their best advocate if/when they can’t represent themselves
  • Learn about the condition, and options for treatment. Be open with treatment providers. If you are a parent/guardian or have permission from the patient to talk with doctors or counselors, use that to discuss concerns. If you don’t have authorization to receive information about a patient relationship, you can still provide information to treatment providers to better help them understand an issue or concern.
  • Journal relevant thoughts, and look back. Journals can be for your feelings, progression of treatment or documenting a condition. These notes can be invaluable when you talk to a doctor or are qualifying for a resource.

What has been the hardest part of being a caregiver?

Dealing with depression, and having no-one to talk to. Frustration when you can’t get treatment or support. PTSD from events that happen as a care-giver. Anger at “the system” whether it’s insurance coverages, hospital policy, or legislation/funding that negatively affects your loved one, or having resources taken away that you depended on unexpectedly.

If you’re new to caregiving, what questions do you have about it?

I’m definitely not new. My primary advice here would be that friends who knew the “healthy” you, or before you became a caregiver will often disappear. People will say incredibly insensitive things, or make opinions where they have no understanding/expertise to say anything at all. Be critical of advice (not skeptical, but critical) and confirm with qualified research and/or professionals, even if the advice is from within your tribe/group. Be willing to look for new ways to do things. Look into clinical research.

Featured Voices of the Article

My family’s role in the story is to be the “stranger in the story” and to provide an anecdote illustrating what the other subjects offer: data, experience or action. I’m familiar with and a strong supporter of NAMI, and for the Caregiver Action Network.

⬆️ Christine Crawford, National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
https://www.nami.org
– NAMI works to educate, support, advocate, listen and lead to improve the lives of people with mental illness and their loved ones
– See: Mental Health Education, particularly the NAMI Family-to-Family course.
– Consider: NAMIwalks 2026 is a friendly, low-barrier way to connect in your local community. You can register and attend an upcoming walk in your area.

⬆️ Marvell Adams Jr, Caregiver Action Network
https://www.caregiveraction.org/
– CAN (the National Family Caregivers Association) is a non-profit organization providing education, peer support, and resources to family caregivers
– See: Blueprint for Families of Loved Ones with Mental Health Issues

⬇️ Mitul Desai, The CareHack
https://www.thecarehack.com
– Based in New York, currently working with a multi-state practice and launching a Medicaid-funded project in New York. CareHack is focused on working with “big players in for-profit health care systems”, i.e. insurance companies and large practices
– their solution is based on a framework with predictive AI and human coaching

Additional References

I would really recommend checking out these links, and supporting the work of these groups. If you take anything away from this, recognize that there are three absolutes of care: face the difficult topic, keep your heart, and always advocate.

✅ Film: No One Cares about Crazy People, by Gail Freedman
https://noonecaresfilm.com/
– a feature documentary film about the tragedy, crisis and chaos of severe mental illness in America, and a national crusade to do something about it

✅ Film: UNSEEN: How We’re Failing Parent Caregivers & Why It Matters
https://caregiverdoc.com
– Many caregivers for children or adults who are disabled or medically complex are exhausted and isolated. The mental, physical and financial struggle of family caregivers costs us all.

✅Film: The Case for Kindness
https://caseforkindness.com/
– Case for Kindness explores the profound impact of kindness on our physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

✅ Organization: National Shattering Silence Coalition
https://www.nationalshatteringsilencecoalition.org/
– The National Shattering Silence Coalition (NSSC) is dedicated to dismantling the walls of stigma, isolation, and shame that surround critical public health and social challenges. Silence is not a passive state but an active barrier to healing, understanding, and progress.

Posted on

On “Borderline” by Mishell Baker

My reading of late has been moving away from the traditional analytical non-fiction that I typically read, and is moving into what might be discovery, or distraction, or something like that. I realized recently that I’ve been interacting with an author on social media for a little bit – without having read any of her books – and solely by association through Jennifer Miller-Smith (who I owe thanks to). And that’s how I decided to read an urban fantasy book.

Before I start, I want to comment how there are three related topics that circulate in the book that really made me pay attention:

  • Facades, and whether we use them to charm, “shimmer” or repel others
    — particularly the way we try to blend and hide ourselves;
    — our inability to see ourselves as others see us; and the glimpses we gain of ourselves that can be startling and revelatory;
    — and, of course, the obvious characteristics and flaws we can’t hide from ourselves and others, that can be problematic to our own vision of who we are.
    — I associate this with the totems we create for ourselves? We either anthropomorphize or attach to stereotypes that ground and connect us. We want to look a certain way, or be perceived a certain way, so we work really hard to create the illusion of ourselves using things around us.
  • Our desire to find meaning through others’ stories and connection
    — using other people’s histories, and finding some reflection and acceptance of personal stories in your own past matters greatly;
    — how it takes time to process and cope with tragedy – that too often you have to be able to get through and turn around to look back to know what it was that you went through;
    — escaping suicide and its ideations by understanding that pain isn’t escaped, rather it is spread out
  • The idea of death, and moving between worlds, and what it means to be in between
    — there’s a lot to explore here that Arcadia gives room for;
    — some interesting comments, like p.85 “Lisa is still dead?” that just… raises questions.

It wasn’t just faeries and mythology either. I really admire the level of detail woven into the characters.

  • delving into physical rehabilitation and the use of prosthetics;
  • learning about nuances of BPD, with some reflections that felt too harrowingly close to how I have interpreted interactions and mentally processed my life so far;
  • the acts of compartmentalization; coping; distracting and the benefits of therapeutic practices at work, and the reason mind and the emotion mind;
  • what it’s like to work in systems with unknown rules and suffer consequences; and
  • the need for psychological constructs, familiars, muses, and echoes.

I also really loved the neurodivergence on display. I encourage you to go find Abigail and her one-liner.

It’s surprising how much a book can draw you into its space, and that’s improved when the author shares really insightful comments about how she writes to improve a reader’s perception and experience.. a little of that brilliance shared on BlueSky:

An Interwoven World

The interweaving of folklore, faeries and mythology was actually fun to read. I’m not generally a fiction/fantasy reader by default, so Baker’s descriptions and character’s postulating on “what makes the world” created some nice interconnects. As a new reader in the genre I appreciate that she took time to explain some things that wouldn’t have held glue in my mind.

Some Savored Quotes

I really don’t want to ruin anything, but I really need to impress the thoughtfulness and reflection in the story writing. These page references are from the Saga Press softcover, first edition:

  • p33. “Suicide is not a way of ending pain; it’s just a way of redistributing it.“
  • p112. “I’m not inclined to elect you arbiter of normal.“
  • p134. “…the Borderline apology that means I’ll lie and say I was wrong, just don’t leave me.“
  • p302. “Long after you quit feeling that glorious rage, your words linger.“
  • p302. “Memory is a sketch artist, not a camera. People add and subtract whatever detail they need to. They say they forgive you, but they don’t. “

Millie’s Work

The Stone Guest (Millie Roper) – is a movie created by Millie Roper that received attention before her life profoundly changed. P222 describes it as a story of a young heroin addict trying desperately to connect with her estranged mother after her father’s death.

If there’s any sort of knock-off from the Arcadia project, that’s a storyline I’d love Baker to flush out.

David’s Work – The Cotton “Trilogy”

  1. Blue Yonder (David Berenbaum) – Millie is 10 when her dad (still living) takes her to see this
  2. Red Cotton (David Berenbaum)
  3. Accolade (David Berenbaum)
  4. Black Powder – work in post (David Berenbaum) – Millie is 26

I’m including the movie titles and some ages for Millie to give us an idea of the works referenced. I’m honestly not sure what to infer from the movie titles. There are indications of a much more expansive career to Berenbaum’s timeline but these are the notable films for the book. I think it’s interesting that the intended “trilogy” ends with Accolade, which is noticeably less well-received than the first two films, and followed by a fourth unofficial return-to-namesake movie titleage. I’m pretty sure I’m missing something important.

Summary (of Sorts)

I really don’t know how to do reviews for fiction, but I thoroughly enjoyed this book; and I plan to read more of the series. Her stories are well-constructed and provide plenty of circumstance to self-apply and be thoughtful about.

FWIW, it’s now shared in the Little Library in my front yard. Good books are always worth sharing.

Reference

The Arcadia Project series is made up of Borderline, Phantom Pains, and Imposter Syndrome.

Author Site: https://mishellbaker.com/

Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Mishell-Baker/author/B01NAJ120T

Posted on

Packing for Homelessness

Essentials

  • 30L backpack
  • Outdoor blanket (compressable)
  • Coat with Hood (insulated, wind-resistant, water-repelling)
  • Hoodie/Sweatshirt
  • Pants
  • Socks (wicking, wool-blend preferred), 2 pair
  • Underwear, 2 pair
  • Balaclava
  • Beanie/Knit Hat
  • Gloves
  • High absorbency towel/chamise

Food

Shelf-stable food items are ideal, but also think of gift cards for stores

  • Gift cards for stores and eateries (write the balance on the card)
  • Meat sticks/jerky, single packaged
  • easy open/ring-pull canned tuna, or foil pouches of tuna
  • Trail mix, single packaged (avoid melty foods like chocolate)
  • Roasted nuts, single packaged
  • Thermos, or water bottle (with clip)

Additional Items

Remember, this isn’t for you.

  • Feminine Hygeine Products
  • Towelettes/baby wipes
  • Toothbrush with travel case, toothpaste
  • Waterproof non-slip shoe covers
  • HotHands hand warmers
  • Can Opener
  • Ziploc plastic bags
  • Cigarettes and lighters

Electronics

  • Mobile phone (unlocked), or a mobile phone with service (trac phone, mint, etc)
  • Charging blocks and cables
  • Rechargeable power bank
  • Alkaline batteries for devices (AA, AAA)

Program Stuff – Pass Info Along

If you know the person and can help make sure that they have identification, a travel pass, and access to state benefits – this helps incredibly.

Posted on

A Winter Death Knell

What happened today could very well be a death knell for my son. The system does not care. The system is broken.

I received a call shortly after 5AM that my son has been arrested in south Salt Lake county for trespassing. My morning was talking with dispatch, one of the officers, and communicating to the rest of the family. My son has a mental illness and is homeless. When he was arrested they confiscated his backpack and sent it to the PD evidence room because he couldn’t bring it with him for booking at metro jail. I called the Metro Jail to try intervening and was on hold for more than an hour. In that time they completed processing him and “released him” (let him walk out) without a phone, without transportation, no money, and without his belongings. When I spoke to a person at the jail he had been released for more than 30 minutes. I spent the rest of the morning driving around looking for him, and couldn’t find him. I ended up buying a new backpack, warm clothing, a blanket and food so that I could give it to him if I found him. He will be outside tonight without his things. The PD office won’t open to the public until Monday so even if he was able to get down there again he wouldn’t be able to get his stuff.

I am broken. I’m overwhelmed because I don’t know where he is and I’m worried about his safety. This is what it’s like to have a family member with a mental illness.

Timeline

Sunday, Dec 14

5:15 AM – Received call from Riverton Police (I was asleep) that my son was arrested at approximately 5:12AM on Sunday Dec 14, 2025. He was in a construction site, likely trying to stay warm. He has a warrant for arrest (I didn’t know he had a warrant, I’m guessing this is due to a failure to appear for his previous trespass in SLC).

10 AM: Salt Lake Valley Communications Center (Dispatch) took my information and will have an officer call

10:14 AM: Officer callback. My son was charged with interfering with police (borderline resisting arrest). He walked up to a car with an undercover officer at the construction site, and asked for a cigarette; he was initially confrontational when the undercover officer turned on his police lights, and was swearing at the officer. This is why they charged him with interference. He was handcuffed, and “easier to deal with” after that. Note that my son is typically cooperative in police interactions.

  • I’m surprised that he told them to call me. He typically doesn’t want me involved in things.
  • The backpack is in Riverton PD (office is closed for the weekend). We will need to call and schedule with technician to retrieve his property.
  • I am informed that the jail will typically discharge after processing (later in the day)

10:22 AM: Attempt to call the Salt Lake Metro Jail. My call is disconnected unexpectly while in queue (twice); will try again later.

10:29 AM: Attempt to call the Salt Lake Metro Jail. The hold time: 58 minutes. I wanted to ask:

  • Is it possible for a Clinical Mental Health Therapist to refer him to a mandatory hold for mental illness? He is a danger to self due to inability to care.
  • Otherwise, will he be held in jail for a court appearance, or released?

10:41 AM: (While on hold with the Metro Jail) Email to admin@rivertonpd.org with info sourced from rivertonutah.gov/police to request that we obtain my son’s backpack from Riverton PD. Email bounced (email not valid). I forwarded to admin@rivertonutah.gov, ask them to fix the bad information on their site.

11:30 AM: Agent for the Metro Jail picks up, takes information. My son was released on his own recognizance at 10:55 AM – literally while I was on the phone trying to reach the jail.

11:55 AM: I drive down to Salt Lake Metro jail. I don’t see my son anywhere. While in the parking lot, I call Riverton PD and it goes to voicemail. I leave a message that I need to get my son’s backpack.

12 PM to 3 PM: I’m driving east-west on 3300 South, and north-south on Redwood Road looking for where my son may be. I stop at a store to pick up another backpack, warm clothing, an outdoor blanket, towelettes, cigarettes and food. At the end I drive through a couple areas where I have seen him before, but am unable to find him.

3:30 PM: I prep the backpack so that I can hand it to him if I find him. He doesn’t need to unpack anything, it will be ready for him to take.

I check for activity on his debit card and his SNAP card to see if I can locate him based on transactions. There is no activity. I don’t know if he has his cards and ID with him after they took his backpack. He does not have a phone.

I’m second-guessing myself, but I buy a Tile Pro to place on his backpack. In the event that I give it to him I may be able to at least know where he is, for as long as he has the backpack. It’s not hidden. This wouldn’t help me find him today if he already had one, but I may be able to use it in the future to locate him.

9 PM: No update. I’m hoping to hear from him, that he will stop by the house. At this point I don’t know where to look to find him. He could be downtown. He could have tried to walk back to south Salt Lake county, or just got on Trax.

Monday, Dec 15

I have not yet heard from, or found my son.

8:19 AM: Contacted Riverton PD and was routed to voicemail for the Evidence Manager. An appointment is required to pick up the backpack. I made the request and am waiting for a call back.

11:44 AM: Called the Riverton PD Evidence Manager again, went to voicemail (again). I stated that whatever was in the backpack is probably stuff that my homeless son needs to survive on the streets. I’m still waiting for a call back.

12:51 PM: Got the call back. I’m heading over to pick up my son’s backpack.

1:16 PM: The back pack has been retrieved. It had his social security card and his SNAP card. Now all that’s left is to find my son.

Thursday, Dec 18

9:54 AM: Call from Mountain America Credit Union, it’s my son. He wants to know if anything came in the mail for him because he’s trying to get a replacement debit card. I head down to his location, and we are unable to get a new card issued because he doesn’t have any valid ID with him. I have multiple expired IDs with his picture with me. I have my letter of Guardianship. They will not issue a replacement debit without a valid ID.

My son agrees to go with me to the DMV so that we can get a new ID issued for him. We get the ID, then to my bank so I can pull some money out for him, then return to his Credit Union so that we can (finally) get the replacement debit card issued. While there I deposit funds to his account so there is some money for him. I am also able to return his SNAP card and his Social Security Card, which were both in the backpack at the Riverton PD. I don’t know what happened to his original state ID or his debit cards.

He accepts the new backpack, but doesn’t want the jacket or the blanket I brought – he says it’s too much to carry around with him. He asks me to drop him off at the library because that’s where he wants to go. We finish up by just after 12PM and I let him go.

Saturday, Dec 20

1 AM: My son rings the front doorbell in the middle of the night. He wants to know if I can take him down to the police department to resolve his tickets. I tell him that the offices are closed, and we need to go down during the week when they are open. I encourage him to come back in a couple of days, or to call me where I can meet him so we can work things out. He does not have his backpack but at the hour I don’t notice, and only realize after he is gone.

10:30AM: I call the Huntsman Mental Health Institute to qualify when a mandatory commitment can be decided through their crisis intervention team. The person states that there is no condition other than “immediate harm to self or others” that might qualify. A wellness check can always be requested, but my son’s location would need to be known. Gabe’s vulnerability is his inability to care for himself, and his avoidance of shelters. He is currently sleeping outdoors on the ground and has no coat, and no blanket.

Monday, Dec 22

I confirm with the Riverton PD that their case went to Herriman Justice Court, and will not be adjudicated by Riverton. I contact Herriman Justice Court and confirm there are two case numbers pending disposition for Gabriel. I will travel down to Herriman Justice Court Clerk’s office to see what I can find out, but am hoping to bring Gabriel with me.

Gabriel does not come by during the week

Saturday, Dec 27

6:50 PM: It’s my son’s birthday. He stops by to ask if it’s his birthday, and laughs when I confirm that it is. I Invite him into the house, and he opens a card sent from his grandmother. There is money in the card, which he takes, but he doesn’t bother to read the card. I ask him if he’s going to read it and he says he can’t read. I offer to read it to him but he says no.

I give him a couple of packs of cigarettes, which he takes. He goes out to the front step to smoke. I call his grandmother and make some food in the microwave. He comes back in and sits down to eat. He partially converses with his grandparents on the phone. He is laughing, he has some ticks/clicks, and he has a cough.

I ask him about shelters and he says he just wants to sleep in the house tonight. I tell him he can’t stay here (past violence). He asks if I knew he was tased by South Jordan police. I ask him if he was talking about the time he walked up to a car to ask for a cigarette, and he confirms (it was the Riverton undercover PD, not South Jordan). I tell him we can go down to the courts during the week but he has to check in during the day when the courts are open. I ask him about his backpack. He says it was stolen. I ask him if he still has his ID and debit card, and he says those were stolen.

Update: I have submitted a GRAMA request for bodycam and vehicle footage from Riverton PD

Because I asked about shelters he thinks I’m getting angry. He doesn’t finish the food that I made and says he wants to take the soda. He is leaving. On his way out he says his name is ‘Rose’ now.

I had placed a Tile on the backpack before I gave it to him, so I look up the Tile and find it pinging where it appears to have been located for the past week and a half. I drive down to the location, and find the Tile on the ground. There is no backpack.

This is why more than CIT training is needed

  • The arresting officer very likely knew my son would be without anything when he took the backpack.
  • The metro jail did no assessment – at all – for his condition. He should have been referred to mental health services, but wasn’t.
  • When he was released, they literally told him to leave the building, with nothing. In December.
  • He was released on his own recognizance, with the understanding that he would show up for court later. He has no means of communicating (no phone, no email). He likely doesn’t know where to look for court records that will show when a hearing is scheduled. He is not accountable for schedules – and this is a condition of his diagnosis. He doesn’t have a case worker. I’m his father and legal guardian and most of the time it’s incredibly hard to find him.
  • The PD office is closed to the public on the weekend. He has no way to get his stuff back.
  • Because of his diagnosis he avoids people. He will not go to a shelter, especially when he feels vulnerable.
Posted on

Thoughts on HIPAA and Caregiver Access

I’m sharing some thoughts after listening to an NPR Morning Edition story from Maxwell David Howard on HIPAA protects patient privacy, but some say it shuts out caregivers. This was an excellent story with good research, and I’m grateful that it was shared.

For context, I have an adult son with mental illness who is homeless, so much of the report resonated with me. It’s worth noting that my son is not a reliable source of information for his own medical history.

Here are a few observations:

  • Hospital Facilities don’t share information in local networks
    In four months, my son used emergency room visits that resulted in referrals to mental health hospitals.
    • None of the receiving hospitals had access to any continuity of care for my son. They didn’t know what medication had been used in prior visits.
    • They didn’t know if he had any medications in his system before treating him, and
    • They didn’t inquire to see if he had any history of hospitalization in the the local area so that they could coordinate services.
  • Case Workers and Care Givers have the same problem of zero notification
    If my son is receiving treatment elsewhere and/or has a case worker assigned, that person is typically not aware of any out-of-network activity. That means that hospitalizations for medical or mental treatment are unknown. It also means that violations, arrests, jailing, or court appointments are “unknowns” with particular impact to the protected individual, who is neither represented, cared for, or defended at critical times.
  • Hospitals use the “we can neither confirm nor deny” about patient admittance
    This is particularly aggravating. When I know that my son is admitted, I typically cannot see or speak to him because they won’t do so without a prior authorization from my son. I have called simply to provide them information, or to ask them to query my son for his approval. However they don’t want to even relay a message to the staff or to my son because that would be stating he was a patient. I typically have to say something along the line of “I know he’s there and I know you can’t confirm or deny that. What I’m asking you to do is take my message, and if you can route it to him, or to his treatment team, to do so. I don’t need you to respond one way or another, but I’m requesting you to take an action that will benefit a patient in your facility without acknowledgement otherwise“
  • I obtained legal guardianship of my son, and it’s still difficult to talk with care providers
    One of the main reasons that I sought limited guardianship was so that I could communicate with health providers, and assist in coordinating care. This does not mean I am notified at any time when he is admitted for treatment, so there is still a discovery process. Often times there is a delay while I provide paperwork/evidence of the guardianship, and I still receive pushback about what I can and cannot do based on interpretations of the limited guardianship.
  • Status of a Protected Individual should be a flag for hospitals to seek Care Coordination
    I don’t want there to be a “list” of protected individuals, and this scares me. I really don’t like that, at all… but there can be processes in place for treatment providers to create routine prompts with patients to determine if there is someone they should be talking to. This is complicated but needs to be discussed further.

There needs to be some separation about communication with caregivers, coordination of care, and decision-making ability on behalf of a protected individual. I am aware that this makes things more complicated, generally – and I’m also aware that risk-averse companies seek to protect themselves from possible violations of HIPAA law when processing privacy-related information. But the HIPAA laws are actually making treatment worse in some cases, and that needs to be addressed.

Posted on

Utah is a Cicero Institute Petri Dish

I am calling out the bullshit of Devon Kurtz, Policy Director at The Cicero Institute. Cicero Institute is responsible for pushing to get rid of housing-first solutions THAT WORK, and replace them with institutionalization through civil commitment and incarceration. I live in Utah where he/they have been actively working with legislators to push their agenda.

Utah Homeless Services Board (UHSB)

Letter: “UTAH HOMELESS SERVICES BOARD 2026 GENERAL LEGISLATIVE SESSION RECOMMENDATIONS”

  • This is the Utah Homeless Services Board (UHSB) policy recommendation letter. Randy Shumway (Chair) wants a civil commitment facility (bad bad bad)
  • Note that this letter was heavily influenced by “wants” from Utah Senate Leader Stuart Adams and Utah House Speaker Mike Schultz that incorporated the July 24 Presidential Executive Order policy changes to move away from a housing-first policy that Utah has traditionally been a leader for, and previously shown great success in implementing.

Response: “Utah Housing Coalition Shares Community Concerns on Utah’s “Action Plan to Address Homelessness” Aligned with the “Ending Crime and Disorder” Executive Order” (utahnewsdispatch.com)

Presidential Executive Order

“ENDING CRIME AND DISORDER ON AMERICA’S STREETS” (July 24, 2025)

  • the right-wing think tank Cicero Institute was involved in advocating for the policies that ultimately shaped the Presidential Executive Order “Ending Crime and Disorder on America’s Streets”
  • The executive order shifts focus from housing-first to institutionalizing homeless individuals with mental health and substance abuse issues
  • Critics argue the order fails to address root causes of homelessness and may increase untreated mental illness and incarceration.

Response: Unpacking Executive Order “Ending Crime and Disorder on America’s Streets” (ensorahealth.com)

  • The Executive Order represents the most sweeping federal pivot toward compulsory treatment and criminal-justice integration since the 1965 Community Mental Health Centers Act redirected asylums toward the community.
  • In isolation, the order risks exchanging tents for jail bunks and psychiatric wards without tackling the root supply constraints of therapy, housing, and peer support.

Reference

2025-12-16 Article: 1,000 Utahns could lose housing under Trump’s homelessness priorities (kuer.org)

2025-12-11 Article: Miller family donates millions to aid Utah’s homeless (fox13now.com)

  • The recipient org (https://homelessutah.org/) is comprised of city and county mayors in the Salt Lake area. However I also recognize Wayne Neiderhauser from Utah Office of Homeless Services, who is a Non-Voting Advisor. He sits on the board of Utah Homeless Services Board Members (UHSB) along with Randy Shumway (executive committee chair), who is also the CEO of the Cicero Group.
  • See the Utah News Dispatch article below (Nov 24)

2025-12-08 Article: Cox wants lawmakers to put up millions for a massive homeless shelter that Utah is not yet sure how to run (sltrib.com)

  • “State officials have long followed a policy of getting homeless people into housing first, but now officials are weighing a system that focuses on behavioral health care and forcing more people into help. Such a pivot would put the state in line with a summertime executive order from President Donald Trump.”

2025-11-24 Article: Utah’s plan for massive homeless shelter draws heat from advocates, community leaders (sltrib.com)

  • When Gov. Spencer Cox was quoted in The New York Times saying Utah’s proposed partially involuntary homeless shelter is “a statement of who we are as a state,” Rev. Brigette Weier all but balked. “My Lord,” the minister said. “I pray that is not true.”
  • Shumway’s recommendations to respond to Trump’s executive order, calling for a “certified community behavioral health clinic” on the campus with 300 to 400 beds reserved for people who are civilly committed — or court ordered into mental health treatment. His proposal drew criticism and concern from some homeless advocates, who worried it would be wildly expensive and could create a chilling effect by building a civil commitment facility in direct proximity to homeless shelter beds.

2025-11-20 Minutes: UHSB Public Meeting

  • Stakeholder presentations included Devon Kurtz of The Cicero Institute, who proposed to reallocate grant funds from SAMHSA Protection & Advocacy for Individuals with Mental Illness (PAIMI), and request engagement of the US Dept of Justice to build a framework for expanded civil commitment.

2025-11-18 Article: Faith leaders, environmental groups push back on proposed homeless campus (ksltv.com)

2025-10-29 Article: In Utah, Trump’s Vision for Homelessness Begins to Take Shape (nytimes.com)

2025-10-02 Article: Utah homeless board proposes ‘initial framework’ to respond to Trump’s executive order (Utah News Dispatch)

2025-09-03 Announcement: State Legislators Respond to Proposed State Homeless Services Campus on Salt Lake City’s West Side (utahhousedemocrats.utleg.gov)

  • “With the Utah Homeless Services Board’s proposal of a new homeless services campus in the area we represent, we are concerned that this decision was made without any significant input from the public. As leaders and champions on issues of homelessness, we know how critical it is for our unhoused neighbors to have access to safe shelter and the services they need to regain stability. This campus is an important step in addressing the state’s homelessness crisis, but it must move forward in partnership with the people who will live alongside it.”
Posted on

It isn’t a Single Index. Hear Me Out.

This is a continuation of thought after reading On “Dignity: Its Essential Role in Resolving Conflict”. The Dignity Index doesn’t address accountability. It makes no remark of the uses of power, or willful corruption, or malice. Dignity alone is suffering, and it makes no road to end that suffering except to endure.

There is so much more to address, and I don’t think that a dignity index is sufficient to resolve a root problem: people suffer from both words and acts; and there is no justice or safety found unless words make accountability from action.

I personally am confounded by the lack of response in the dignity movement about disinformation, corruption, conspiracy; and I’m not the only one struggling to understand how dignity alone can be a diplomatic bridge.

The success of a Dignity Movement is based first upon personal exemplification of Dignity. It is based on a hope that others will recognize that inherent dignity, then learn to see it in themselves. It is a desire for cultural adoption of a basic tenancy of human-ness in ourselves and others. It is a thought that shapes words, and it is an influence game.

But dignity does not solve problems. It is a bequest to treat others as you would like to be treated, a call to let go of umbrage towards your fellow man.

  • It does not fix aggression, or genocide
  • It does not resolve hunger, or suffering
  • It does not address corruption, or malfeasance
  • It does not address greed, or despotism
  • It does not address misinformation, or falsehood

The Dignity Movement will call as example the trials of Desmond Tutu, but it does not call out the sacrifice of Alexei Navalny. Dignity alone can just as easily amount to suffering as it can for change.

It’s More Than The Measure of a (Single) Man

What we need is more comprehensive than what a Dignity Index alone can provide. It is not sufficient to say the elements of dignity withstand when it does not address suffering, or complicity, or all the other things unaddressed.

We are imperfect, yet we strive to be better than who we are today. We can be personally accountable for who we are and how we act, but as social animals we recognize that there are constructs to society that must also be defended for all of us to find safety and opportunity.

I started a table of indices that matter. It’s just a start… but please, let’s start a conversation about this.

A Proposal: Pillars to Measure Self and Society

  1. Dignity vs Contempt (this is the Dignity Index)
  2. Truth vs Disinformation
  3. Humility vs Hubris
  4. Humor vs Vitriol
  5. Discovery vs Dogma
  6. Leadership vs Manipulation
  7. Accountability vs Infallibility
  8. Integrity vs Corruption

A society must agree on the limits in which it operates, but a society must also trust its members to act in ways that protect each others liberty; and in ways that promote general well-being. For this, we need to recognize the conditions of man, or more specifically the conditions that present themselves in absence of fulfilled need.

“It is an affirmation of values and hopes that I share with millions of Americans that sustain and motivate each of us to do his best, that give vigor and moral direction to our representative institutions. Public service has confirmed my faith in the potential of the human spirit, its generosity, its idealism, its capacity for growth, its resilience, and its infinite resources.”

Hubert Humphrey, 1971

Dignity is a thought that inspires words. For dignity to thrive, there must be actions that deliver its affirmation to all of us.

Why it Matters

Language matters, but on both sides of the conversation. In reference to a Thanksgiving post from Donald Trump, the response from Tim Shriver was to use indeterminate language like “the post suggests” and “if that’s true”. There is clear evidence that it’s real.

  • What does the dignity index rank Trump’s own language? Why would that alone matter?
  • Did the response from Shriver make Trump accountable for his language?
  • Did it challenge his leadership in making such remarks?
  • Is there any question of the hubris required for Trump to say these things?

Trump’s cruelty is like a callus that needs to be torn off. We are hardened by it, and in permissing the language the callus (and the callousness) grows. Our responses should be direct when addressing the slight. If words are wielded as a cudgel by one party, we do no service in coddling our response to it.

  • Our clarity in the definition of egregious behavior matters
  • We model appropriate responses using language that is precise and remains dignified, and
  • We back up our words with actions that respect humanity and values

This is why we need more than a Dignity Index. Our measure cannot simply be of the language – because we are not trying to shape language, we are trying to shape a culture and a movement (i.e. action).

Posted on

On “Dignity: Its Essential Role in Resolving Conflict”

I’m currently reading Dr. Donna Hicks’ book “Dignity: Its Essential Role in Resolving Conflict” leading up to her keynote address at the Dignity Leadership Summit taking place in Salt Lake City, Utah. I’m conflicted on the topic, mainly due to the helplessness I feel in the socio-political climate of the US and the world at large. I thought I would share my thoughts as I read through the book.

My preface is that these are simply notes of mine as I read the book. I make observations, ask questions, and reference what is in my known world to connect to what the author writes.

Dr. Hicks presents what she calls the Dignity Model, with ten elements of dignity; and she expands further by writing about the ten temptations to violate dignity. In the preface she includes the opening words of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights:

“Whereas recognition of the inherent dignity and of the equal and inalienable rights of all members of the human family is the foundation of freedom, justice, and peace in the world…”

United Nations, 1948

After reading the book, my question is how we can embrace dignity in ourselves but know that we will suffer indignity, and watch our communities suffer indignities that we cannot control. My question is how loss of rights, of curtailed freedoms, lost opportunity, and of loss of lives does not result in a loss of faith? There is a certain amount of jadedness, of bitterness I have that I can’t seem to let go of, in part because I have lost faith in the general goodness of people that I once trusted was there.

I am starting to believe that corruption is a rust that goes through our societal values. I am concerned that ignorance, hate and greed is more prevalent than humility, understanding and empathy.

I am concerned that partisanship, tribalism, and righteousness get in the way of humanity, a broader sense of belonging, and a sincere desire to help one another.

Our fight is real, and it has become existential. We are experiencing literal genocide, displacement and suffering take place in front of us, and watch as our leaders give praise to the perpetrators. Our own leaders show only hubris, and seek unfettered power by planning and taking action to harm anyone who does not contribute to their corruption. Where does our dignity fit in all of this?

There is an assumption that we have a common emotional vulnerability, and I’m not sure that I believe that premise.

A Foundation for Dignity is a Common Reality

My first assertion is that dignity cannot exist without a common reality of what values we hold, and how worth is measured. The book’s focus is on dignity, but words like worth, and honor, and respect show up and rival it. On p.3 respect (earned) is differentiated from dignity (a birthright of value and worth). Both require care and attention.

In order to have dignity:

  • Safety and trust are essential
  • Science as a method of understanding the world around us is essential
  • Logic prevails over illogic, and critical thinking is necessary
  • Truths may include different viewpoints but must be separated from deceit
  • Bias exists. We must be able to recognize it in ourselves as quickly as in others
  • “Awareness requires self-understanding and acceptance. It requires work” (p.15)
  • Last, I would add that humans are social animals, meaning we are of this earth and are part of it. We do not hold a “special status”.

“It’s not just our indignity; it is the indignity of those who we love and care for. It is the loss of well-being of a community of people.”

– From my book notes

A Hierarchy of Needs

Dignity is not easily found when food and shelter are gone, or when we are without safety, or when community is taken from us. We can choose to be dignified in our thoughts and actions, but dignity can be stripped away from us. It is not our self-worth that I’m speaking of here; dignity is more closely related to esteem than it is to worth.

Taking away the foundation does not attack our individualism, rather it attacks our humanity. Inherent self-worth can be had without dignity, which is a societal value.

Burton’s ontological needs (p.27) of identity, recognition, security and belonging are part of the foundation in Maslow’s hierarchy. Fulfillment of these needs is essential to create a foundation for which dignity can be built upon.

Categorical Imperatives

On p.4 Immanuel Kant is referenced as introducing the idea of the “categorical imperative”; i.e. to “act in such a way that you always treat humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other, never simply as a means, but always at the same time as an end.”

Kant surmised that it is “unethical to exploit people or treat them merely as instruments to further one’s own personal goals and interests.” I would go further to say that it is morally wrong to treat others as chattel, or worse, to have no consideration for humanity whatsoever.

On p.10, Hicks summarizes Lindner and Ury in saying “We are becoming aware of our outdated acceptance of humiliating ways of ordering society, and a new human rights culture is taking shape; the value of each and every human being is being recognized.” My response to this is that we are aware, but re-ordering. I agree with Hicks, but I am skeptical.

My concern is that we have actors in today’s society who act with malice, who are willing to deceive and sow distrust for the purpose of acquiring and maintaining power over others. They are driven by greed, fear and hate; and view ruthlessness as strength.

There is an ethical dilemma when the actions of a malevolent person trump the dignity, security and existence of others. How can we value redemption of one individual whose actions may cause harm to many? How do you negotiate with someone who carries no shame?

Sidenote: Speaking outside of this review, I challenge Kant’s notion that suicide is morally wrong. Calling suicide a moral issue speaks more about society’s willingness to ignore personal suffering, and its failure to support and accept individuals who struggle for connection within our society.

It is Connection That Drives Us

Connection is understanding, empathy, acceptance and support. Connection is listening. Connection is contextual. Connection is allyship, a word that I do not see in Hicks’ book.

  • Connection > Respect
  • Connection > Esteem
  • Connection > Dignity

See Lost Connections, and Stolen Focus both by Johann Hari for an interesting take on western society’s root causes of depression and anxiety. I align to his thoughts that connection is what drives us.

Fun distraction: Watch Abbott Elementary S2E3 “Story Samurai“. Jacob learns to come to terms that he is not “cool”. He learns that the students call him Mr. C because he is corny, and that his peers also think of him this way. His persona is reshaped but he realizes that he is loved and accepted. This is an example of connection mattering more than dignity.

The Five Dysfunctions Model

I want to reference a book by Patrick Lencioni on The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, which is an excellent reader on building functional teams, that focuses more on the establishment of trust, healthy conflict and accountability of its members. This model could easily be applied to teams working towards conflict resolution, just as Hicks’ model is intended. Both models have precepts of basic needs being met as a foundation.

The Five Dysfunctions Model

The Ten Elements of Dignity

Dr. Donna Hicks introduces her model with the following elements – there is no “stack” or “pyramid” built in her model (note that I comment on numbers 2, 6, 7, 9 and 10):

  1. Identity: an introduction of “I” and “Me”; should add “We” that comes later (see Robert Kegan p.152)
  2. ≠ Inclusion: acceptance and belonging (my problem here is the paradox of inclusion when looking at the person, their ideology, and their (in)actions together. I cannot separate them)
  3. Safety: free to speak without retribution
  4. Acknowledgement: see and acknowledge the indignities of others
  5. Recognition: show others that they are seen, heard and understood
  6. ≠ Fairness: treat others justly, with equality and evenhandedness (without trust, I cannot extend good faith to those who will abuse the privilege – i.e. an agreed ceasefire is violated consistently by one party)
  7. ≠ Benefit of the Doubt: treat people as trustworthy (I struggle that all people have good motives or act with integrity – i.e. a delay plays to the advantage of a party that will undermine a negotiation, or keep food and aid from victims of war)
  8. Understanding: believe that what others think matters I LOVED THIS QUOTE: “Seeking understanding is one of the easiest ways of honoring dignity. Allowing people to feel understood is just one short sentence away: “Tell me more”.” (p.85)
  9. ≠ Independence: encourage others to act on their own behalf (this should always be a first principle, but there are times when allyship is needed)
  10. ≠ Accountability: take responsibility for your actions (all parties must be accountable, and this extends far beyond violations of dignity)

I think you can see this is where I really begin to struggle with Dignity as an underlying core value for which unresolved conflict can be addressed. There must be a basic level of trust, of constraint, of essential humanity, of broad accountability to move forward.

In the section on Benefit of the Doubt, there is a poignant story of Nelson Mandela who says “I loved even my enemies while I hated the system that turned us against one another.” (p.75) He also says “Man’s goodness is a flame that can be hidden but never extinguished.” (p.76)

Not everyone is a leader, and far fewer become a moral authority. Even fewer survive what Nelson Mandela did, and I will use Alexei Navalny as an example. I question the value of giving the benefit of doubt to even one individual whose actions cause harm to many. Is there not an ethical dilemma presented here? Is it not different to bear our own suffering, but do nothing for the suffering of others?

In the section on Accountability, I pondered what if there is no diplomat to negotiate, or if we are faced with institutions built on greed, prejudice and fear? There must be honest arbiters with agency to represent change.

Discipline is mentioned on p.119 under False Dignity, but is not brought up in context of the first 10 elements. I think this, Humility and Reflection, should be elements of consideration.

Fun Distraction: If you were to program Dignity into an AI model, what would it look like? What would happen if you were to run a Monte Carlo exercise on the model?

The Ten Temptations to Violate Dignity

These are not all presented as antitheticals of the Ten Elements, rather it exists as its own list of detriments to Dignity.

  1. Taking the Bait: the lesson here being to show restraint, and noting that action must be measured against a consequence of inaction. This quote in particular was striking: “…know that we have the capacity, in the service of self-preservation, to do great harm to one another, we will be stuck in the never-ending cycle of indignity.” (p.101)
  2. Saving Face: “The dread of having our inadequacy, incompetence, or lack of moral integrity made known is enough to turn us into liars…” (p.103) reminded me of this recent unattributed comment about a political figure: “When he says he knows nothing he knows everything. When he says he knows everything he knows nothing.”
  3. Shirking Responsibility: (as an antithetical to #10 Accountability) An important lesson from this is that when we care, we learn, and this builds strong relationships.
  4. Seeking False Dignity: a short summary might be to not seek false praise or flattery, or accept that our status as a human is tied to an external measure of success. A concern I have for this is that Hicks’ references the individual perspective and not society generally, or where we find ourselves historically within it.
  5. Seeking False Security: be willing to address the risk of the unknown. “Any relationship in which your dignity is being routinely violated is not a safe relationship, no matter how much you deceive yourself into thinking it is.” (p.124) needs to be applied at a larger level. It pertains not just to relationships, but representation, and employment, and society at large.
  6. Avoiding Conflict: a key reason I brought up Lencioni’s Five Dysfunctions is because it specifically calls out healthy conflict as a necessary step for teams to go through. Conflict should not only include standing up for yourself, as Hicks states, but should also include allyship. There is a risk in conflict. Understand the fight before you step into it. There is a great comment about ‘optimal conflict’ by Kegan on p.154 to challenge how we make meaning.
  7. Being the Victim: possibly versus playing the victim? Know the difference. Our self-awareness and objectivity are key to understanding. Our willingness to hear others feedback and process it comes next.
  8. Resisting Feedback: continue to be curious. Continue to receive, accept and process change.
  9. Blaming and Shaming Others as Deflection: “Safeguarding our dignity when faced with a threatening situation requires us to develop both self-restraint and self-assertion.” (p.168)
  10. Engaging in False Intimacy and Gossip: “There is nothing like good dirt to liven up a discussion.” (p.171) Speak truth about yourself; invite others to do the same.

For the topic of False Intimacy and Gossip, I want to juxtapose that with commiserating and discussing rumors generally. A trusted circle is often used to share information, or needs to be used as a sounding board, or where to go for advice. It’s “spill the tea” but also “let’s clean that up”. Very often, the person discussed wields a power imbalance, or shows unreliable behavior.

Tiering the Elements of Dignity

I wanted to relate the elements to some order of tiered dependence, and I also wanted to see if there was an association between the elements and the temptations. This is what I came up with.

My intent here is to think about how some things (like safety) are essential in order to do anything meaningful. Then there are elements we are directly responsible and solely accountable for, and there are elements that we extend to ourselves and to others.

On Reverence and Awe

Starting on p.67-69, I especially like what was said in this section on Recognition. The capacity to be in awe and in reverence of a force or forces greater than ourselves is a reminder of the incredible power of humility. (I made a silly note that this was the time to watch more Kaiju films.) These quotes in particular captured me:

“The something greater could be God for those who are religious, or ideals like truth and justice, which captivated the Enlightenment philosophers, or the magnificence of the universe, which is enough to bring Richard Dawkins, an atheist, to his knees.”

“One of the hallmarks of good leadership, then, is the capacity to feel awe and wonder at something greater than oneself, and this feeling acts as a check on arrogance.”

Humility, then, is essential for our ability to see ourselves and the role we play in a grander picture of the world and universe that we are a part of. Humility is “necessary to avoid the temptation to abuse one’s power by harming, exploiting, and disempowering others.” (p.69)

On Social Values of Shame, Ridicule and Satire

There is social value to shame, ridicule, satire and for comedy; but what part does dignity play here? Hicks states on p.22-23 “Our interpretation of what happens in the world is dependent on our experience of it [shame]”. Yet we find disciples of hubris among us.

  • There is a notable fear of humiliation, except when there isn’t. Senator Ted Cruz, Senator Mike Lee, and Vice President JD Vance in their about-face relationships with President Donald Trump are prime examples of this.
  • Lying, deception and cover-up are not only employed in self-defense. Senator George Santos literally made a career and was elected to the Senate amidst his willful lies, fraud and corruption.

On Reconciliation

One of the observations I want to make is that reconciliation is not always possible. It may never occur. It would be better to add one more chapter on unreconciled indignities, or “living with indignity”, because that is the circumstance for many.

“Because Mandela’s sense of his own value and worth was so deeply ingrained, he never lost sight of the inherent value and worth of others, no matter how badly he was treated. His sense of dignity is the source of his humility. It is humanity itself that he respects – not just his own but that of every human being. Keeping that truth to the fore is an astonishing human achievement.” (p.76)

“The responsibility is ours to stay anchored in the truth that, as human beings, we are the embodiment of dignity.” (p.139)

What answer is there for unresolved conflict? What of justice not found? What of our own perceptions of safety when the violator just “gets away” or isn’t part of the recognition, or healing? The violation remains. It is inevitable, but the weight of things, whether one or many, has a tendency to shape us.

I am troubled about finding resolution when offending parties do not have integrity. They willfully disregard, lie and are in contempt of words. There is no honor in their actions; they admire ruthlessness; they seek power without humility. The response to this cannot be to simply persevere through it all.

Much of the book describes suffering. Dignity does not take away suffering, and it does not make it tolerable. Dignity can be a lifeline though; in that it cannot be taken away unless you choose to let it go.

“It’s not necessarily about meeting in the middle; but is there a third space?“

Evan Fowler, DEI Facilitator, Project Common Bond

Dignity and a Dialog to Avoid Conflict

Although the topic of the book is on using Dignity to resolve conflict, it’s worthwhile to point out that Dignity can and should be used to avoid or dissolve conflict. Dignity is, after all, a tool of diplomacy.

So the other part of the story should be of preventing conflict. How do we use dignity to restore dialog? How do we ensure that dignity is more present in the words and actions of ourselves, our politicians, business leaders, in community, in our news and in our places of gathering?

Suggested Next Read

I already started this, but want to review and comment next on “Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man“, by Mary L. Trump, PhD. This will likely be a very significant contrast to “Dignity”. Much of my reading on Dignity has led to thoughts on how DJT acts in opposition to dignity but is still projected and supported by an inner circle, and by his followers, who are devout to his political figure.

About the Reviewer

You can learn a bit more about me here.